From afar over the past couple of years, I've watched an acquaintance building a rickety bridge. In the name of compromise or peace-keeping she's made leadership choices hoping against hope that they'd maintain the public good, yet decisions she would never have made left to her own conscience, thoughtfulness and prayer. Each decision brought her farther out into deep water.
During this season, her life has been an uneasy peace on the outside and chaos and turmoil inside. That is until recently when she decided (as I've seen people do many times before) that life is too short to do something you hate... and she walked away from the situation leaving the many people she worked with and for scratching their heads. Seeing her after the announcement, you knew the elephant had removed his foot from her chest.
I tell her story compassionately because as I reflect on her 'withdrawl from the battle' it reminds me of similar leave-takings in my own life. Whether with family, friends, or in my career, I can name the times that I chose a similar path of hasty retreat. Caught up in an endless number of small skirmishes, I'd find as she did, that the trajectory or the whole objective had changed and the relationship, project or the organization was no longer something I wanted to be a part of much less to lead. My leave-taking seemed sudden and surprising to those around me; but it really happened incrementally as I gave away myself bit by bit in small compromises until I didn't recognize myself in that place, in those circumstances, doing that work or being the person I'd become.
The awareness that her story was my story, gave me a new appreciation for the unintentional sabbatical which is my life right now. The disciplines of study and meditation is where I've sought and found refuge over the past year. And its been the fruit of that time from which such insights come. Had my life continued at the pace and course on which it was moving, I too would have continued to try to lead from compromise.
I have echoes in my mind of the book “A Failure of Nerve: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix” by Edwin H. Friedman. Friedman believed that leaders too often fail to lead because they confuse compromise with collaboration. While a leader can guide through collaboration, compromises are often the result of vying mobs. Collaboration leads to win-win and compromise to lose-lose. Too many of us I fear, don't know the difference.
But even as I sit here this morning thinking about such things, I realize there's no time we can say "okay, learned that, won't do that again." Being aware of the perilous course of good leadership is helpful, but it's no guarantee. Given a hectic schedule with little time for reflection, a compromise that seems a quick fix will again be attractive. So what can save us from this life built on shifting-sand? We're intelligent, experienced, honest, truthful people. Where's the box I check that says: been there done that, don't have to do it again? Godly leadership is never that easy.
What I'm learning in the un-busyness of my days is that I've relied on the measurable abilities and technical skills I've acquired, believing they would serve me well. And they do go a long way. But they go a long way in the same fashion that a two mile bridge crosses a three mile body of water.
I'm learning in this season about the stillness I need to operate from my core. I'm learning in the quiet, idle time which some see as useless. I'm learning by listening to and for an inaudible voice teaching me just what to do when I'm at the end of that two mile span. I'm learning that this 'learning' is a practice, a Way, and not a destination; there's no end to it. And I'm learning that I can't give this to you... but only show you what it looks like in my life. A sacred life can only be caught, from being close to the source.
What do you do when you're life reaches the two mile marker across a three mile body of water? May I suggest you sit down and dangle your feet over the edge and just listen? BLESSING AND JOY TO YOU. THE CELTIC MONK
During this season, her life has been an uneasy peace on the outside and chaos and turmoil inside. That is until recently when she decided (as I've seen people do many times before) that life is too short to do something you hate... and she walked away from the situation leaving the many people she worked with and for scratching their heads. Seeing her after the announcement, you knew the elephant had removed his foot from her chest.
I tell her story compassionately because as I reflect on her 'withdrawl from the battle' it reminds me of similar leave-takings in my own life. Whether with family, friends, or in my career, I can name the times that I chose a similar path of hasty retreat. Caught up in an endless number of small skirmishes, I'd find as she did, that the trajectory or the whole objective had changed and the relationship, project or the organization was no longer something I wanted to be a part of much less to lead. My leave-taking seemed sudden and surprising to those around me; but it really happened incrementally as I gave away myself bit by bit in small compromises until I didn't recognize myself in that place, in those circumstances, doing that work or being the person I'd become.
The awareness that her story was my story, gave me a new appreciation for the unintentional sabbatical which is my life right now. The disciplines of study and meditation is where I've sought and found refuge over the past year. And its been the fruit of that time from which such insights come. Had my life continued at the pace and course on which it was moving, I too would have continued to try to lead from compromise.
I have echoes in my mind of the book “A Failure of Nerve: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix” by Edwin H. Friedman. Friedman believed that leaders too often fail to lead because they confuse compromise with collaboration. While a leader can guide through collaboration, compromises are often the result of vying mobs. Collaboration leads to win-win and compromise to lose-lose. Too many of us I fear, don't know the difference.
But even as I sit here this morning thinking about such things, I realize there's no time we can say "okay, learned that, won't do that again." Being aware of the perilous course of good leadership is helpful, but it's no guarantee. Given a hectic schedule with little time for reflection, a compromise that seems a quick fix will again be attractive. So what can save us from this life built on shifting-sand? We're intelligent, experienced, honest, truthful people. Where's the box I check that says: been there done that, don't have to do it again? Godly leadership is never that easy.
What I'm learning in the un-busyness of my days is that I've relied on the measurable abilities and technical skills I've acquired, believing they would serve me well. And they do go a long way. But they go a long way in the same fashion that a two mile bridge crosses a three mile body of water.
I'm learning in this season about the stillness I need to operate from my core. I'm learning in the quiet, idle time which some see as useless. I'm learning by listening to and for an inaudible voice teaching me just what to do when I'm at the end of that two mile span. I'm learning that this 'learning' is a practice, a Way, and not a destination; there's no end to it. And I'm learning that I can't give this to you... but only show you what it looks like in my life. A sacred life can only be caught, from being close to the source.
What do you do when you're life reaches the two mile marker across a three mile body of water? May I suggest you sit down and dangle your feet over the edge and just listen? BLESSING AND JOY TO YOU. THE CELTIC MONK
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