Giving Up the Farm or Farewell to Farmville

It was last fall that I finally answered an invitation on Facebook... the social networking website, to play Farmville... a social networking game.

How fun I thought, that rather than playing solitaire or mahjong by myself, I would play Farmville and be able to catch up with friends at the same time. What could be better?

I was brand new to the world wide web of all things electronically social and it appeared to be a simplest of avenues to keep in the loop. I’d have a small interaction with friends and acquaintances from miles away as I decompressed from my day. What better way to spend 10 minutes than with that 6” x 6” plot of flat screen soil while sending and receiving trees, chickens, fences and lambs with friends.

It even felt familiar, this sensation of a momentary connection. I remembered that when Sean was two and just getting his own little sense of self he practiced a ritual of comfort as he took those first steps of independence. He would make a foray into another room, or even down stairs, or get occupied with a toy and then feeling alone, he’d run into whatever room I was in and he’d touch my leg as if to say... “I’m big enough to go off on my own... but I just want to know you’re still here.” When he was satisfied with that knowledge... off he’d go again—without a word.

As I’m now experiencing a somewhat independent journey of my own, away from so many familiar people and things... it was kind of nice to be able to run to Farmville to put out my hand and touch some of the folks who were no longer in my every day. It was indeed comforting to see their one inch by one inch face on the bottom of my Farmville screen listed as “neighbors” and to have the illusion (or is it a delusion) of being connected.

And then there were the “gifts.” In Gary Chapman’s book about the five love languages, he says that there are 5 ways that we prefer to give and to receive love. There’s a short test available to see what someone else needs to do to make us feel loved... and how we like to express love to others. It will come as no surprise to anyone who loves me that I give and receive love through gifts. Sometimes notes and cards, sometimes the real deal, shop/buy/charge/joy/ give/smile/love. That’s me.

So imagine the degree of my enchantment with Farmville when I found that one way the game is successfully navigated is through the giving and receiving of gifts. Free gifts. Just click to send and click to open and your farm begins to grow. Free gifts! I love this virtual world of social relationships. I even started receiving gifts and requests to be a “neighbor” from folks I didn’t know. Now I’ve watched my share of Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood. There is really only one response to “would you be mine, could you be mine, won’t you be my neighbor?”

So my farm began to flourish. And just about the time I was running out of room on my 6 x 6 plot, I learned that I could buy a bigger farm. Whoa! But this bigger plot wasn’t free like the first one. And, oh heck, since I was going to buy a bigger farm anyway, I might as well, buy a few other things. After all, it didn’t cost me anything to start. What’s a few bucks negotiable without ever leaving my computer screen?

By now the holidays were almost upon us and there were virtual turkeys and cornucopias and then Christmas trees and gift trees and presents... there were nutcrackers, and candy cane fences, and more virtual presents to give and receive.
And I love Christmas decorations, so I had to plant more crops, and I had to visit my farm everyday so that (heaven’s no) my crops wouldn’t wither. And if I did it just right, some days I could plant the same ground twice. I bought one house and then a shed, then a bigger house. And now there were Christmas lights and snow. I could buy snow and my whole farm turned from green to white, yet I could still plant and harvest. This is a great virtual reality.

I was helping my friends on their farms almost every day and sending them things to help their farms grow. But we didn’t talk about real things only fake trees, fake livestock, fake fertilizer and sending fake gifts. And it didn’t feel much like I was touching base with friends. In fact, I began to feel more like a supplier for their next hit on Farmville, as they were the suppliers for mine. And way beyond the few minutes it took per day when I began, I was up to 30 minutes twice a day to keep it all going – an hour without any real interaction with real people.

It was then that I first decided to quit; but there were valentines in my virtual mailbox and there were shamrock bushes to plant for extra XP. And I’d just put out dozens of virtual flowers and they’d be drooping in two weeks... then my farm would be ugly if I didn’t go in to clean it up. I’d have an ugly vitual farm with dead virtual crops and no virtual friends.

So my next idea was to phase out slowly and yes I know how silly this sounds. I planned to remove all the living things (vitual living things) from the farm that needed to be fed and harvested. I sold off all my sheep and cows, all the lambs, calves and pigs—after all—if I’m quitting I don’t want them to starve. And I plowed under all 140 squares of planting space I’d amassed. That was a lot of harvestable ground. And since I was going to be away, I took down my pretty pink fence and put up a sturdy stone fence instead, ivy covered. Don’t want any squatters you know. And I took the Christmas nutcrackers and tin soldiers out of storage (oh yes, there’s storage for those things you buy and don’t really need anymore) and placed them strategically around the place for protection of my virtual social networking farm.

As I fortified my farm I realized that I hadn’t visited or helped on my neighbors farms for a while, and come to think of it, they hadn’t visited or helped on mine. And, hmmm... we never really talked or connected as I thought we would even when we did virtually interact across the miles of Farmville.

My virtual social networking foray was never as social as it seemed at first possible. Now that I’ve given up the farm, I wonder if anyone will notice that I’m no longer their neighbor? Or is this really just one more way (albeit a 21st century way) that people fall through the cracks of other peoples lives without ever having to say good-bye, or I’ll miss you? BLESSINGS AND LOVE, THE CELTIC MONK

Comments

  1. I'm here via The Practical Disciple in my "reader".

    Farmville has been a wonderful ministry opportunity. I was asked by an 11 year old if I would be his neighbor, as he was trying to get 50. I resisted, but gave in. It gave us a great opportunity to connect. He had gone two years to our Summer Camp, though neither of his divorced parents attended here. He and his twin sister would be here nearly half the time.

    He was on his 4th round of cancer - the first onset having been in Kindergarten. We chatted while he was in Mexico for an alternative treatment, as there wasn't much hope from the doctors here. On Christmas Day I changed my farm to be a message to him. I wrote his name in big letters through Cherry trees. I plowed out the letters to "Trust", and I arranged animals to say "Jesus".

    He had asked nearly all his family to be neighbors - even grandparents. They appreciated seeing the message each day, and knowing that he saw it each day as well. He died in mid-January, and I had the funeral - even though neither parent had set foot in a single worship service here. The focus of the message was to Trust Jesus. Apparently, from the huge amount of feedback, the message touched many.

    We've been able to send his twin to a winter retreat recently. And I've kept up with the family through the farm.

    I've figured out how to keep the work load low - not worrying about harvests much. I go on at 9 pm to harvest the milk barns and the chicken coup. If anyone sends me a gift, I send them the exact thing back to them - but otherwise don't seek more stuff or more neighbors. The farm now has his name then "Knows Jesus".

    Because I had been a tutor in the schools the past several years, I was able to go in as part of the crisis team after his death, and listen to his classmates (though he had missed most of the school year). Now I "farm" with several of his friends, and keep in touch with them - and call them by name whenever I see them (because I have that little picture). I rarely go "fertilize" anymore, but when I do I go to those young folks and to the family. And I sometimes take the opportunity to post something on their farm or send a message. And sometimes I speak with the family by phone or in person.

    I like to think that my 15 minutes a day, or longer at times, is worth the effort to minister to a group of folks - and perhaps someday they will want to talk about something else going on in their lives.

    I've considered planting only crops requiring 4 days of growth - but the daily connection keeps me attuned. When the surviving twin invited me to join Petville, I once again hesitated, but gave in. That one I give about 5 - 10 minutes every other day. I'm not on any additional games. So, I'm thinking it can be a good ministry tool.

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  2. I recently left virtual farming too for all the same reasons. I have stayed on facebook but don't get sucked into the gaming. Social networking, like many things, has its place but can take over also. Isn't it interesting how quickly habits begin but how hard they are to quit?
    Enjoyed reading your blog which I discovered just like Dennis from the Practical Disciple. Look forward to reading more of your thought.

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